This morning, I was sitting on a circular sofa in the bank—one of those pieces with 360-degree seating and a single backrest in the centre, meaning anyone sitting back-to-back would inevitably touch.
I was waiting to be helped when a couple walked in. The man sat directly behind me, leaned back, and lifted his elbow to rest on the backrest as if I weren’t there. I had to quickly shift to the side to avoid being knocked and regain some of my personal space.
He didn’t even notice, and I felt completely invisible.
On the surface, it doesn’t sound like much of a deal. But to me, it’s a perfect example of how differently men move through the world—how unconsciously they claim space.
Men experience the world differently than women do, just as white people experience it differently from people of colour or wealthy people from those without resources.
We all need to examine privilege in our lives—our perspectives, how we occupy public spaces, and how aware we are of others around us.
When I experience something uncomfortable, like this morning’s bank encounter, I’m reminded to hold myself accountable for my own privileges.
I’m reminded that it’s not just the space I take up that matters, but how I move through the space around me, ensuring I leave room for others to exist comfortably alongside me.
His unconscious claim of space angered me because I had to diminish myself to accommodate the room he assumed he deserved.
But perhaps the deeper frustration isn’t just with his behaviour. It’s with a world that taught him he could move through it without constantly calculating the impact of his presence on others. That’s a luxury many of us will never know.
