There are so many stories of women and girls losing their lives to boys and men who are offended by their rejection.
I’ve just finished a series where that was the ending narrative. A boy was angered by rejection, ‘felt small’, and let his ego and reputation become more valuable than a girl’s life.
It’s a story I’m familiar with, yet each time this reality hits, I feel like I’m breaking into pieces. I feel the injustice of all the lost names we do not know. I feel the injustice of a world where his actions aren’t problematised and, therefore, go unchecked. Unpunished. Unrecognised.
Another prominent series, Adolescence, which aired earlier this year, stirred this conversation and became a cultural moment for a short while.
There is much to consider when examining this series and the narrative that surrounds it. But at the heart of it all, male rage and toxic masculinity are not normal and can never be understood as such. I cannot comprehend how these behaviours are perceived as acceptable responses to rejection.
Of course, I understand the concept of conditioning, but how can reacting with violence be the only response to a woman’s choice? To her saying no. To her exercising autonomy over her own life.
Why can’t our words be respected rather than questioned? Why can’t they remain our power—something we have the right to wield? Why do our words immediately dissolve in the face of a man’s anger, embarrassment, or entitlement?
The most devastating part is how normalised this has become.
We tell women to be careful, to let men down gently, to manage their reactions—as if the problem isn’t male violence but our failure to navigate it skillfully enough.
We’ve made women responsible for preventing their own murders rather than holding men accountable for choosing violence over acceptance.
Without dismantling male disappointment that justifies female destruction and seeing “no” as a negotiation rather than a complete sentence, these stories will continue. And more names will be added to the list of those who weren’t protected.
