Not every part of me needs to be exceptional.
I don’t need to impress, over-achieve, or be hypervigilant all the time.
This is learned behaviour—formed and rehearsed over time during moments when I discovered I needed to be this way to survive.
I know I’m not the only one who learned this. Many of us have learned to identify productivity as part of who we are, rather than recognising it as something that was instilled in us.
The consequences of this learned behaviour are:
- Intense feelings of guilt when resting
- Rumination on what I could be doing instead of taking a moment
- A constant dialogue in my mind about how I’m wasting time by simply pausing
- Overperforming to care beyond my means
- Hurting myself so others can feel more comfortable
And many more micro-behaviours that contribute to this need to be all things to all people.
I’m learning to recognise these patterns more and more. And in doing so, I get to reclaim my power. I get to start building a different narrative.
The progress is slow, but the subject matter is vast and requires careful handling.
What I’m learning is that the same gentleness I’ve always extended to others must now be turned inward. The radical act isn’t achieving more—it’s allowing myself to be beautifully, imperfectly ordinary.
And that might be the most exceptional thing of all.
