For most of my life, I’ve known today’s date to be special. But today wasn’t special. Instead, it was marked by grief I’ve never known before.
It pained me to write and send those words, but I did because that’s who I am. My goodness, how it hurt. They felt heavy instead of joyous, empty instead of genuine.
I keep trying to understand why this relationship is so complex. I keep trying to decode why you are the way you are.
The tragedy is that this understanding only wounds me more deeply. It sacrifices parts of myself that were never meant to be offered up.
Being here in such close proximity but feeling further away than ever is its own kind of torment.
Being here only confirms what I’ve suspected – that true closeness is not in our future.
