The cost of it all is so grand. It will forever change me, and I’m unsure how to process it.
I’m heart sore and a little resentful for the position you’ve put me in. And it’s hard because I still have to say ‘I love you’ at the end of each message and each phone call.
I was really hoping resentment wouldn’t enter the room, but it has, and I’m not sure where to usher it to.
Perhaps that’s the hardest part – knowing that love and resentment can occupy the same space. That I can hold both truth and disappointment in the same breath.
For now, I’ll acknowledge this tension without forcing resolution. Some feelings need to be witnessed before they can transform. And while I don’t know what shape this will take tomorrow, I know that naming it today matters.
