Yesterday, I reflected on asking myself better questions, starting with, “Is this true to who I am? Is it true to who I want to be?”.
After one of the most powerful therapy sessions I’ve ever experienced, I realised there’s a crucial question that must come before those…
“Does this choice make me abandon myself?”
The word abandon is enormous. As soon as my therapist said it, I recognised that’s what I’ve been doing for so long. It’s such a loaded word with severe implications and a profound ability to cause harm.
When I think about a child being abandoned by a parent or significant adult figure, my heart shatters. I understand the gravity of the damage that follows such actions. Yet somehow, it felt different, almost less urgent, when I came to terms with the fact that I had been abandoning myself.
But it’s fucking urgent.
So, I am reconciling with the parts of myself that feel abandoned because she is incredibly important to me and deserves all the care in the world.
