#selfcare is everywhere, but maybe for all the wrong reasons…

I can’t remember how I came across it, but I did, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

In 1988, African-American writer Audre Lorde said some important words I hadn’t heard before. She said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” [ref]

She said these words not to promote a new skin-care routine or a new selfish activity that supports capitalism and individualisation. She said them because of who she was at that particular moment in time. Because of who the world defined her as.

She said these words to insist that she mattered within a violent and oppressive culture. [ref]

For years, the definition of self-care has shifted and changed. It’s become ambiguous and expansive, to say the least.

What do you think of when you hear the words ‘self-care’? As cliche as it is, I see a bubble bath, a glass of wine, a mud mask, and scented candles, which lead to a onesie, a comfy bed and a binge Netflix session. Don’t get me wrong, these things aren’t inherently bad.

But in today’s world, if we aren’t able to recognise how extravagant these indulges are, it means that we wear lenses reserved for a select few.

The picture I’ve just painted is something I’m mirroring from all that I see in our current American-dominated influencer culture. But, I think we must take a deeper look at the origins of ‘self-care’ and determine how we want to individually honour the term and all it represents. The conversation can’t just be about ‘do whatever it takes or whatever you want to care for yourself’.

Self-care activities aren’t the problem in and of themselves. So, let’s go back. Let’s go to the civil rights movement in America.

During this time, self-care took on more than a medical meaning. It was during this time that self-care became political. It wasn’t something you could buy. It was an act of resistance by people of colour against a racist system. It was a practice that activists developed to keep being politically active.

The approach to self-care was not about ‘me first’. It was self-preservation to survive oppression and keep fighting against it. It was a practice of empowerment. It was community-based. It was value-driven. It was activism-supporting. [ref]

Lorde’s amplification of the intersection of wellness and civil rights highlights how self-preservation is essential for community building. [ref]

Learning this history (only now) has really challenged me. It’s forced me to interrogate what self-care truly is and how it shows up in modern-day society. It’s asked me to recognise my privilege and reframe my own self-care practices.

This question by Yashna Padamsee, is so poignant. As I reflect on it, I encourage you to deeply consider it too.

“What is the purpose of your self-care? Is it to do this for all of our lives, not just yours?” [ref]